Overheard in the office

It's easy enough be negative about your job -- you spend 1/3 of your day there (nearly all of your waking hours!) and it's not typically something you enjoy doing; at least, not enough to do on your own without being paid. To alleviate the usual work frustrations, I've decided to relive some of my favorite moments from work recently. I work with some very fun people!

The conductor of one of my daily meetings, Dave, was unable to make it to work on time, so he called in on the conference room phone. He explained that his bees were angry that morning and that he'd needed to suit up and plug up the tops of his hives so that the bees could calm down before going back in. 
Charles: "You know, bees can sense electromagnetic disturbances in the atmosphere. This could be indicative of some kind of impending catastrophe."
Jaynee: "The apocalypse itself!"
Dave: "...I think it was spilled sugar water." 
Silly us!

Later in the same meeting...
Dave: "Aaah! A bee!"
A few minutes later...
Dave: "Hey, do you guys want to hear some bees?"
Scott: "I want to hear 'Aaah!' again."
Dave: "That was me going 'Aaah!' Okay, here are some bees" *buzzing through the speaker*
Scott: "Hey, ask them about Thor!"

Two stories need to be told for this quote: 1) A UX engineer, Geoff, had been helping a fellow writer improve the look of our documentation website. 2) We have a comment feature in our documentation that a customer has recently discovered. He keeps asking questions that we already answer in the documentation, so he's not bothering to read before asking.
Geoff: "Craig, you are going to have the most beautiful thing that no one will ever read!"
Me, laughing: "That was the funniest, most accurate thing I've heard all week."
Craig: "Well, at least we know <customer who keeps commenting> reads our documentation."
Me: "Yeah, well... wait. No, he doesn't."
Craig, laughing: "I think that actually wins funniest thing said all week."

On the van home one day...
John: "Jaynee, is this your hat?"
Jaynee: "Nope. I saw it in the back last week. Has no one claimed it?"
John: "I think it might be Winnie's. I wonder where she's been. Maybe she's too cold without her hat."
Neil: "Sorry, I can't come to work until Spring -- I lost m'hat!"

You know, Catholicism. We believed in the teachings of Cathol and everything it stood for.

These last two weeks have been pretty dang eventful, considering I haven't done a thing really! How does that work? Oh, well, have a seat, get some popcorn, and I'll tell ya. I paid off my car last Monday (and I received the title in the mail 2 days ago). Yeah, I officially own The Black Mamba... but wait, IS she black? I'm very convinced that she's actually gray... but then again, I only wash her in the summer. Hm.

On Wednesday, I came home from work and immediately went to the kitchen to make dinner, 'cause I was starving when Buster said, "There's a surprise for you downstairs." I was very confused, so I went down there, and I have a brand new cedar chest. I instantly knew who it was, because my mom's been talking about getting me one since I graduated from high school. I called her up and thanked her, but she insisted it was all Dick's doing, 100%. A few days before, he had texted to ask our address. I was suspicious, but I didn't connect these two immediately. I can't believe he does these things for me - he's so thoughtful!

On Monday, I got to play with my best friend for the first time in what felt like forever (though it's only been a couple weeks). We went to Zupa's and watched an episode of the Gilmore Girls. Such good times! I've been missing all that - I'm pretty sure I've been craving Zupa's for 6 months, I've been needing friend time badly, and then there's the Gilmore Girls withdrawals... I think I might just pull through now.

See? Like I said, it's been eventful, but at the same time... think about it, all but the playing is over in an instant - and even then, the playing sure feels like an instant. I hope everyone had as good a week as I did and has an even better one this week! Hopefully in the next couple days I'll finish some sewing projects I've been working on and have some pictures to share. :)

PS (can you PSify a blog?) check out this song! No More Hotdogs
Buster came home with a copy of this CD, and we've literally been laughing for 3 days straight at this song.

The Great American Underwear Famine of 2005

This one's for you, Elise! I have some of these old conversations saved up, this is one I had late at night with Dary Fairy... enjoy!

Dary: there must be an underwear demand or something
Dary: haha
Me:The nation's underwear supply is going swiftly down, we're all gonna die of this underwear... ah.... famine.
Dary: underwear famine...
Dary: haha
Me: Well, apparently that's hte problem! Underwear's flying off shelves to make it into peoples' storage room in case of disaster, and when the world's supply runs out, they'll have more!
Dary: "Did you build up your emergency underwear supply? I hear it's gonna be a rough year.."
Me: *suddenly hears STar Wars theme in head, as if the explanation of the underwear famine is going up a starry screen in yellow letters*
Me: we're not sure we'll last through winter!
Dary: i want an emergency storage supply thing! lol
Dary: haha!
Me: We're just gonna have to go without sometimes...
Dary: ew
Dary: lol
Me: No more of that labeled Monday through Friday underwear, these are desperate and terrible times! I feel grieved my children have to live through it...
Me: Or WILL they? *sniffs*
Dary: now you only get two pair, one that says "Monday thru Saturday" and the other is special for Sunday and holidays
Me: HAHA!
Me: This is your dress-up underwear, so don't soil them.
Dary: haha
Dary: the American Underwear Famine of 2005
Me: Dress shirts, ties, slacks, and proper dress underwear are required to enter.
Me: Haha!
Dary: "We have to ship emergency underwear supplies in from Europe and Asia!"
Dary: HAHA!!
Me: No, no, the GREAT American Underwear Famine of 2005.
Dary: "M'am, can I please check to see if you have appropriate underwear to enter this restaurant?"
Dary: that sounded bad... haha
Me: We have just received word from our friends in the Middle East that turbans make good back-up for emergencies.
Me: Oh, good land....
Me: Yeha, that was relaly bad!
Dary: haha
Dary: it ended up sounding worse typed out than it did in my head
Me: Haha! I hate it when that happens!
Me: "Excuse me, this is the PROM! and you are clearly wearing cheapo, white Hanes. It's easily noticed, due to the lack of a proper ruffle..."

And then we started talking about other random things. The end!

You Know You Can't Be Certain that You'll Lose until YouTry....GIVE IT A TRY!

Man, life is so awesome! Y'know why? Lotsa reasons, but mostly because I said it was, and I'm the boss! Maybe not of the universe like I aspire to be someday, but of my life, heck yes I'm the boss! Rock the fetch on! Anyway, some specific reasons I love my life:

1) I tried to apply for another federal loan, but I found out I couldn't earn one because Dick makes too much money. For reasons best known to our government, I have to include his information. So I applied for a ton of scholarships and applied for a few jobs with absolutely no luck. One day my mom called and I let slip that I'd applied for a second job. I was mostly thinking that she gets upset when I don't include her in things like this, but she asked the right questions... basically, "Why do you need another job?" "What happened to your loan?" "Why can't you get a loan?" I tried to change the subject, but she kept pushing it and she knows I can't lie... so I finally cracked and felt AWFUL because she took the stress on herself.

About a week later, I checked my account balance to see if I could buy some fabric, and I randomly had a TON of money in my checking account. I called my mom immediately and pulled the same maneuver on her. She tried to deflect me, but no dice. There are only two people with my bank account number, and I knew my dad didn't do that. So I thanked her over and over and promised to pay her back. She said, "Don't tell him I told you this, but it was all Dick. I asked Jess if she knew anything about these loans that could help you out, and Dick overheard and asked what was going on. I told him, and he said, 'You've seen me give money to my kids and they don't do anything. That little girl is doing everything she can, and she can't take a second job.'" I don't cry easily, but at this point I lost all control and started crying.... I've never cried out of happiness or being touched before, so this was new and exciting! I don't know what I did to deserve this blessing, and I'm actually still convinced that I don't, but what can I do but accept? I sent them a thank-you card, I'll have to see what else I can do...

2) I'm almost done with school! While I'm very burnt out and Spanish class is killing me with 3-hour class periods 4 days a week, I'm getting there. Soon I'll start applying for real jobs and make some money, either pay rent or move out (maybe Maegan and I can find a place?).

3) I have some amazing family and friends. Buster and Emelie let me live in their basement, and I still can't thank them enough for that... they are absolutely amazing. Haha, so yesterday after work, Buster and I had a serious book discussion about The Road and A Clockwork Orange and wound up driving to Barnes and Noble randomly and buying a few new books... while we were looking at Cormac McCarthy's books, this little kid saw this stool right next to me, went bolting down the aisle, stepped on the stool on his way and leaped off of it. Buster and I started laughing and finally he's like, "he** yes, he did!" Yeah, I was dying. Jess usually includes me in her family stuff, or at least invites me to roast marshmallows and stuff with them... my mom still calls me sometimes and checks up on me.

I also have amazing friends in my cousins/uncle/aunt. They invite me to their house all the time and include me in their family stuff even though I'm not really immediate family... they're so amazing, I don't know what I'd do without them! I also have an amazing friend in Maegan (who comes home this Fall! That should be a number all on its own!), I have Danielle too, who's also an amazing friend... this is gonna be an awesome weekend. I'm gonna play with Nell on Friday, FINALLY!

These amazing people have also given me the confidence to know that I don't deserve to be treated the way the last couple guys I've dated have treated me. I finally have the confidence to know that I don't have to put up with it. I am absolutely not sitting on anyone's back burner. I'm tired of them trying to attach and string to me and just pull me in whenever they feel so inclined... I'm NOT sitting around waiting for anybody. I'm having fun casually hanging out with friends and just being me and feeling like that's absolutely okay. Someday I'll find a guy who's willing to treat me like I matter, but in the meantime, I'm perfectly happy where I am!

4) While I'm still the odd person out in my ward, my bishop tries SO hard to make me feel included. He asked me to sit with one of two mothers (wives of people in the bishopric) to help them with kids during sacrament meeting. The two women have the most well-behaved children in the ward, so I KNOW he asked that for my sake. He noted in my temple interview that I was very much alone (not just at church, but I'm very isolated here), and he also said he saw me sitting alone and didn't like that... I also have a calling teaching Sunbeams, which I like so far for the most part. It isolates me a little more from everybody, but it's hard to make friends with married people anyway, so no biggie!

5) I love the summer! I love the winter too, but I'm so excited about hiking and things it's not even funny! By the way, does anyone have the know-how, equipment and patience to take me/teach me rock climbing? Because I'm DYING to try it out...

6) I've got a huge list of books to read and I'm SO stoked to get started! SHAZAM!

7) No matter what happens at work, with friends, with boys, I have a place to go where I'm welcome and loved, where there are people who think I'm worthwhile.

Even though I get down sometimes about school, work, or dating, I'm pretty fetching happy.... I've got a bajillion reasons to be, so I'm ALL about ignoring the other things!

Oh! I'm still debating about what to get myself for a graduation present, because, trust me, I'll deserve it... here are my ideas so far:
1) One of the new, HUGE video iPods so I can put my movies on it.
2) The new iPhone.
3) A decent bike.
4) Skydiving.

Thoughts? Opinions? Suggestions? Complaints? I suggest you talk to somebody else about the latter. I'm not on the clock, I don't gotta listen to your complaints. ;) Oh, and if you choose skydiving... you better either be willing to go or have someone in mind that'd go with me, 'cause that'd be funner/cheaper with more people!