Overheard in the office

It's easy enough be negative about your job -- you spend 1/3 of your day there (nearly all of your waking hours!) and it's not typically something you enjoy doing; at least, not enough to do on your own without being paid. To alleviate the usual work frustrations, I've decided to relive some of my favorite moments from work recently. I work with some very fun people!

The conductor of one of my daily meetings, Dave, was unable to make it to work on time, so he called in on the conference room phone. He explained that his bees were angry that morning and that he'd needed to suit up and plug up the tops of his hives so that the bees could calm down before going back in. 
Charles: "You know, bees can sense electromagnetic disturbances in the atmosphere. This could be indicative of some kind of impending catastrophe."
Jaynee: "The apocalypse itself!"
Dave: "...I think it was spilled sugar water." 
Silly us!

Later in the same meeting...
Dave: "Aaah! A bee!"
A few minutes later...
Dave: "Hey, do you guys want to hear some bees?"
Scott: "I want to hear 'Aaah!' again."
Dave: "That was me going 'Aaah!' Okay, here are some bees" *buzzing through the speaker*
Scott: "Hey, ask them about Thor!"

Two stories need to be told for this quote: 1) A UX engineer, Geoff, had been helping a fellow writer improve the look of our documentation website. 2) We have a comment feature in our documentation that a customer has recently discovered. He keeps asking questions that we already answer in the documentation, so he's not bothering to read before asking.
Geoff: "Craig, you are going to have the most beautiful thing that no one will ever read!"
Me, laughing: "That was the funniest, most accurate thing I've heard all week."
Craig: "Well, at least we know <customer who keeps commenting> reads our documentation."
Me: "Yeah, well... wait. No, he doesn't."
Craig, laughing: "I think that actually wins funniest thing said all week."

On the van home one day...
John: "Jaynee, is this your hat?"
Jaynee: "Nope. I saw it in the back last week. Has no one claimed it?"
John: "I think it might be Winnie's. I wonder where she's been. Maybe she's too cold without her hat."
Neil: "Sorry, I can't come to work until Spring -- I lost m'hat!"